I'll begin at London Bridge late morning on a Saturday, under the shadow of the astonishing Shard, but resist the temptation to fight my way into the tourist scrum of Borough Market, no matter how hungry I am. Instead, I head east on Tooley Street to Maltby Street Market (maltbystmarket.com, open Saturdays only 9am-2pm), for either a hot Reuben sandwich from Monty's Deli or (if I'm not too late) a custard doughnut from St John Bakery (stjohnbakerycompany.com), surely one of the gastronomic wonders of London. Alternatively, I suggest you head to London's best tapas bar, José on Bermondsey Street (josepizarro.com), to start the day off, Spanish style, with platefuls of Jamón Ibérico and cheese – or if you're feeling indulgent, the Jamón and sherry.
After all that, I'll walk the few miles west along the South Bank, hoping to burn off the custard doughnut before arriving at Pitt Cue van under Hungerford Bridge near Waterloo station. The queues here are always far more reasonable than at their Soho restaurant (pittcue.co.uk, open from May-October), and the US-inspired BBQ food is even better. If they have the Big Ode pulled pork burger (with a middle bun soaked in gravy) I'll get that, and wash it down with a pickleback – that's a shot of bourbon followed by a shot of pickle juice.
And speaking of queues, if those outside the London Eye (londoneye.com) don't look too bad, and the visibility looks good, I may consider a quick ride, although perhaps before the picklebacks rather than after.
If the weather is fine and I'm not in the mood to get slowly sozzled all afternoon on bourbon and pickle juice, I would opt for a trip to one of the great London parks. After crossing Hungerford Bridge I'd hop on the 453 from Trafalgar Square to my own personal favourite – Regent's Park. You'd have to have a heart of stone not to be charmed by this, the most refined and stately of all of London's green spaces. London Zoo (zsl.org/zsl-london-zoo), in the top corner, is a brilliant way to spend a few hours, but even the walk there, through the immaculate gardens that line the Broadwalk, is a little slice of paradise.
As the sun sets, perhaps I'll have tickets for the Regent's Park Open Air theatre (openairtheatre.org); when the weather's fine this is an experience to match any in the capital. But if not, it's only a short walk to Soho, to knock back some cocktails in Bob Bob Ricard (bobbobricard.com) on Upper James Street, before I head to one of this area countless live music joints, to drink in the atmosphere and endless variety of the greatest city on earth.
• Chris Pople's restaurant review blog is at cheesenbiscuits.blogspot.co.uk
