An inherent problem with reviewing in Scotland is that a flight delay can result in missing the very dinner I am supposed to experience. Would you Adam and Eve it? Our flight is late.
We shoot off (quite literally, until I get to grips with the hire car) towards Stirlingshire. It helps having a Scot navigating, and in less than an hour, D and I reach the village of Kippen.
"Food, log fires, rooms" it says outside in smart grey script on whitewashed stone. Just the commodities we need. D waits at the foot of a steep flight of stairs while I push open a door which says "Lounge Bar and Restaurant" to find a dimly lit, busy scene of diners and drinkers.
"We've just sent you an email," says Brian Horsburgh, who bought the pub in 2007 with his partner Debby McGregor. He's wearing an apron now but used to direct River City for BBC Scotland. Debby was a one-time restaurant manager of The Tron in Glasgow. Also in the kitchen is Tony Odorico from Mhor Fish in Callander. No, they wouldn't have let us go hungry, he says, hauling our bags upstairs.
Just three rooms, and we have the "large twin". No frills. Pale oak single beds separated by a modern floor lamp. A flatscreen telly on the wall, and windows with rooftop views towards Ben Ledi and the Trossachs. The shower room seems to have heating (or at least some nice warm pipes) beneath the tiles. A chest of drawers contains a tiny hairdryer, but there's no bedside table, no kettle, tea or coffee, and nowhere to hang clothes except on the back of doors. Fine for us – we haven't packed for a night at the opera.
Let's get downstairs, we're starving. "Pity the fires aren't lit," I say, keeping my cardigan on. "I know," says D, "but it's summer and these are hardy Scots." "Why isn't the fire lit?" I ask the nice waitress (whose name is Deborah). "Because it's summer," comes the reply.
The crowd at the bar swells even while we read through the menu. With more than 10 main courses, it's longer than expected. "This takes me back a bit," says D, tapping a wall of varnished board, "proper spit and sawdust." I like the way tables aren't laid – so anyone can sit at them, not just diners.
"Look – deep-fried ice-cream," I say. "I'm not leaving Scotland without having had that."
First comes asparagus and pea risotto, and a fantastically chunky terrine, then a fiery Moroccan lamb stew with homemade flatbread and bulgur (nice, but nothing ever beats my grandmother's) and baked hake fillet on a warm salad of leeks and potato chunks with plenty of bite, and an olive tapenade. As for the deep-fried ice-cream – it's been rolled in shredded coconut and cooked for a second, then parked on the sticky loveliness of butterscotch sauce. It's my scoop of the year.
We sleep extremely well. "Memory foam," says D in the morning. Breakfast is served in a whitewashed room of rough stone beside an imposing fireplace of Scottish oak. We ask Brian to do the honours and soon we're sitting beside a blaze (and a shelf of well-thumbed cookery books), sipping tea and working through porridge, proper undyed smoked haddock, smoked salmon from Ritchies of Rothesay and bright yellow scrambled eggs. If only more pubs could be this way. Kippen's Cross Keys is a bit of a find.
• Main Street (01786 870293, kippencrosskeys.com). Twin room £60 per night B&B, doubles £70 or £80. Dinner about £25pp for three courses excluding drinks. EasyJet flies to Glasgow from Gatwick, Luton, Stansted, Belfast and Bristol from £25.99. The nearest railway station is at Stirling Further information about the area at visitscotland.com/perfect.
What to do in the area: By the locals
Top eats
Knockraich Farm (01360 860202) in Fintry serves up light lunches – lots of home baking, handmade ice-cream, yoghurt and cheese. Mhor Tea (01877 384622) in Balquhidder has rough wooden floors, mismatched china, a roaring fire, outdoor terrace, hearty soups, handmade cakes, nourishing light meals, fine teas and Illy coffee.
Debby McGregor, co-owner, Cross Keys, Kippen
We supply the meat to lots of local businesses. You'll find plenty on the traditional menu at the Lion and Unicorn (01786 850204) in Thornhill. Buying locally sourced food may be fashionable now but it's something we've always done round here. There's some fantastic lamb at the moment from hill farms in the area.
Cameron Skinner, of TR Skinner butchers, Main Street, Kippen
Child's play
I've got two kids so we're always looking for things to do. Briarlands Farm (01786 841309; family ticket – two adults and two children – £15) is perfect. It's a working farm, so there are plenty of animals for the kids to meet, but there are also go-karts and mini-diggers, giant pillows for jumping on, a farm shop and a five-acre maize maze. We've just bought a season ticket! CS
A great pint
For a taste of genuine Stirlingshire hospitality, try The Byre (01877 376292) in Brig o' Turk – you're also guaranteed a good pint of Belhaven Best. DM
Local treats
Glengoyne Distillery (01360 550254; tours from £6.50) is only a 20-minute drive from Kippen and learning about whisky is a wonderful way to spend a morning or afternoon. DM
Day trips
Stirling Castle (01786 450000; adults £9, children £5.40) is interesting for all ages. The castle sits on a volcanic crag so the view across the countryside is pretty impressive. Inchmahome Priory (01877 385294; adult £4.70, child £2.80) is set on an island in the middle of the Lake of Menteith. There journey over on a cute little ferry showcases the idyllic setting. DM
We've got some wonderful countryside just a short drive from here. Loch Lomond and the Trossachs are little more than half an hour away. And you can't fail to spot the Wallace Monument, a tower sitting on the top of Abbey Craig, near Stirling. CS
A hike
Kippen has a splendid range of walks right on its doorstep, ranging from an easy stroll to a good hike in the hills. The Spout of Ballochleam trail is quite challenging and takes you to the top of the Gargunnock hills, giving great views to the north and south. Details at kippen-village.co.uk. DM
Arty outings
The Green Gallery (01360 850180) in Buchlyvie has beautiful handcrafted furniture, unique one-off designs and contemporary Scottish paintings and is only 10 minutes from Kippen. Wonderland in Balfron (01360 440523) is a great place for handmade jewellery, accessories and gifts. DM
