So football isn't coming home after all in 2018 – it's packing its suitcase for a trip to Russia instead. Gutting, if you're English, but "kruto" – "wicked" – if you hail from the land of Fyodor Dostoyevsky and Andrei Arshavin.
The Russians love a big event – especially as they don't get many – and while the country still has a lot to do to prepare for the tournament, organising a World Cup is unlikely to prove beyond them – these are, after all, the people that put the first man into space. The country has already taken a massive step forward by announcing that visa requirements, which currently pretty much apply to anyone not from a former Soviet republic, will be scrapped for the duration of the tournament.
Perhaps wisely, Russia has limited its World Cup venues to the west of the country, with Siberia and the Pacific coast missing out entirely. Divided into four clusters, the games will be centred around Moscow, St Petersburg, the Volga River, and the Black Sea resort of Sochi, with matches also due to take place in the Urals city of Yekaterinburg.
Southern Cluster
For any beach lovers disappointed that Spain/Portugal didn't get the World Cup, pray your side gets drawn to play in Sochi. This Black Sea beach resort sees average temperatures of around 26C during the summer months. Sochi is also the host for the 2014 Winter Olympics and has already seen massive investment.
The next city to make up the cluster is Krasnodar, the homeland of the Kuban Cossacks, the legendary horse-mounted fighters. Like Sochi, the city comes alive in the summer months, when its central pedestrian zone is filled with street cafes and buskers.
The third city in what may well come to be known as the "fun" cluster is Rostov-on-Don, widely known as Russia's southern capital. The "Don" here is the Don river and many fans will be encouraged to take a cruise ship to Moscow, or vice-versa, an option well worth considering for fans who want to sit back and chill after the excitement of the tournament's opening stages. Perhaps with a glass or two of the region's cheap and cheerful wines. Football fans, alcohol and a boat? What a great idea!
Volga Cluster
The cluster based around cities on the Volga river provides more scope for boat travel. This is an option the Russian authorities are seriously considering to move fans around by far the largest World Cup zone, which stretches from Volgograd in the south to Yaroslavl, some 150 miles north-east of Moscow.
The stadium in Volgograd, formerly Stalingrad, boasts an impressive view of the awe-inspiring The Motherland Calls monument, a 27-metre statue of a defiant Soviet heroine. The monument is dedicated to the some half a million Red Army soldiers who died during the second world war battle to defend the city. It is also said to be in desperate need of repair work, with experts warning it could collapse any day. Keep an eye on the ball, but also on the dame on the hill.
Kazan is the capital of Russia's Tatars, Muslim descendents of the Mongol Golden Horde. They've calmed down a bit these days though, and the city is now a multicultural success story, notable for its very own Kremlin. Check out the local specialty – Qabartma – a kind of doughy pancake spread with butter.
The other cities in the cluster are Nizhny Novgorod, Samara, and Saransk. Of the three, Nizhny is by far the largest. A former home to military research facilities, it was only opened to foreigners in 1990. Samara and Saransk can best be described as typical Russian provincial cities – although that's not to say they don't both possess a certain charm. Still, they are as surprised to find themselves World Cup cities as anyone else. It goes without saying that the stadiums due to host games here have yet to be constructed.
Central Cluster
Moscow plus the nearby Soviet-era industrial town of Podolsk make up this cluster, which is almost certain to see the final and a semi-finals. The Russian capital already has experience of hosting a major footballing event, as the Manchester United and Chelsea fans who saw their teams do battle at Luzhniki Stadium for the 2007/2008 Champions League trophy will recall. Both sets of supporters are also sure to remember the striking Lenin statue that greeted them as they made their way to the turnstiles. A local ritual is to drop coins from the top of the escalators from the metro station to the stadium- a nice windfall for the cleaners, but not so great if you get a 10 kopeck piece in the eye.
Aside from Luzhniki, games are set to take place in Moscow at the Spartak and Dynamo stadiums. The former currently only exists on paper, while the Dynamo arena, the onetime stomping ground of keeper Lev Yashin, is due for massive reconstruction. Architects have promised though to maintain the elements that made it the world's only constructivist-designed stadium when it was first opened in 1928. Keep an ear out for fans showing their disapproval of refereeing decisions by chanting "Sudyu na milo!"- an idiomatic phrase whose meaning translates as "make soap out of the ref," and is a reference to the Soviet practice of producing hygiene products from the fat of slaughtered stray dogs.
The traffic jams that plague the capital are unlikely to have improved by the time 2018 rolls around, but there is always the extremely efficient Moscow metro, whose chandeliers, marble columns and Soviet-era mosaics make it perhaps the world's most beautiful subway system. And cheap, too, at less than 50p a ride.
Not that much else is in Moscow, where prices for basics are often at least twice of those in other parts of the country. Expect things in Podolsk, 15km south of Moscow and the likely venue for a couple of group games, to be considerably more reasonable. Home to third division side FC Vityaz, this 18th- century town boasts Soviet-era monuments and numerous onion dome churches amid all the vaguely depressing tower blocks.
Northern Cluster
St Petersburg and the Baltic enclave of Kaliningrad make up the northern cluster, which should see a semi-final. The venue for the game, and a fair few matches prior to that, is likely to be Zenit St Petersburg's sparkling new ground, due to open for business in 2011. A warning: local fans prove their devotion to their side by bearing their chests in sub-zero conditions. Not likely to be an issue at the World Cup, but given the recent unpredictable weather, who knows?
Known throughout Russia as the Venice of the north, St Petersburg's tsarist-era architecture and winding canals make it one of the world's most visually striking cities. Combined with its famed White Nights, when the sun barely sets from mid June to early July, fans supporting their team in Russia's former capital are in for a memorable time. Getting here from Moscow is simple – the express train makes the journey in around four hours. The slower, overnight train is more romantic though; sup tea and watch the Russian countryside go by as you travel to the big game.
Russia plans to build another high-speed railway to Kaliningrad, separated from mainland Russia by Nato members Poland and Lithuania, in time for the tournament. Established by the Teutonic Knights in the 13th century, the city still retains a certain Germanic influence and is the birthplace of Vladimir Putin's wife, Lyudmila, and Baltika, Russia's top export beer.