Best for head-spinning loops
Colossus Thorpe Park
I've always suffered from mild vertigo. So I genuinely don't know why I allowed myself to be hauled over 100ft above the ground, strapped helpless into a chair last summer. I had to force myself to keep my eyes open as we crested the rise and the Surrey countryside suddenly sprawled below us. There wasn't much time to worry. Within seconds, we were roaring down a vertical incline and I was bellowing my lungs out, grabbing the harness for dear life.
Colossus is a beast. After the intensity of that first drop, a straight loop-the-loop left me completely disorientated. This was followed by a sudden jump and shallow dip that left my stomach somewhere back down the track. Next, we piled into a cobra turn - like the outside loops of a tied shoelace. As we hit the first side of the cobra, there was enormous deceleration pushing me back hard into my seat.
For a brief moment, I was hanging upside down, wondering quite how I got there. And it was at about this point that I caught my breath, stopped hanging on for dear life and realised I was having more fun than I could have imagined possible.
Sliding out of the second of the cobra loops, there's a seat-sucking turn and then we were into the really crazy bit. The most loops any roller coaster has managed before is eight. But Colossus gets to the magic 10 - the only one in the world - in a long sequence of in-line twists. You slip down the middle of a gigantic corkscrew. As we went upside down for the first time, I could feel my bum lifting out of my seat. It feels like you're going to drop straight out of the car. But the seat restraint keeps you in.
After the huge speed and disorientation of the first half of the ride, it's like being in slow motion - and it's somehow ridiculously funny. The coaster gains a small spurt of speed round the final bend, flips you into an even tighter final twist and dumps you back at the start. I was shaking with laughter. I ran round and got straight back on again. There was no looking back - I was a coaster convert.
Where to book: Thorpe Park, Chertsey, Surrey (01932 569 393, thorpepark.com). Tickets: Adult £25; child (under 12) £18.50; family £67.
Best for sheer exhilaration
Air, Alton Towers
Air is unique among roller coasters. It creates the sensation of flying. Once you're in your shoulder harness, your legs are also securely fastened and you're winched up into an almost horizontal position. You, too, can be Superman, or woman - the ride literally makes you feel like you can fly. Designed, like Colossus, by coaster guru John Wardley at a cost of £12m, Air is pure exhilaration.
Where to book: Alton Towers, Alton, Staffordshire (0870 4444455, altontowers.com). Tickets: Adult £26; child (under 12) £21; family £78.
Best for thrills
Nemesis Inferno, Thorpe Park
On Nemesis, you sit suspended with your legs dangling in mid-air, the track above your head. This means that you zoom and swerve around the outside of the loops, so -particularly if you are sat at the front - you have no idea which way the next curve will take you. It's a remarkably disorientating and exhilarating experience. The first Nemesis ride in the UK was built at Alton Towers, but, new for this summer at Thorpe Park, Nemesis Inferno turns up the heat just a little more as you zoom within inches of a fire-breathing volcano. This one's a personal favourite.
Best for peaks and troughs
The Grand National, Blackpool Pleasure Beach
Remember the days before all those new-fangled harnesses and corkscrews turned pleasure parks into space-age arenas? Many purists would argue that the good old-fashioned wooden big dipper is still the best fun on rails. No clever air-breaks or hi-tech harnesses, just a rickety seat, plunging drops and gravitational pull. The Grand National, Blackpool's venerable steeplechaser, is a beauty. Its classic swoops and dives, lifting you out of your seat and cannoning down the dips, are still hard to beat.
Where to book:
Blackpool Pleasure Beach, Lancashire (0870 4445566, blackpoolpleasurebeach.co.uk). Tickets: pay per ride or day ticket £26; family £85.
Best for high flying
Jubilee Odyssey, Fantasy Island
"£28m-worth of butt clenching terror" is how the promo tional literature describes this one. Jubilee Odyssey is Europe's highest, longest and fastest inverted ride. Similar to Nemesis, you dangle from the track above with your legs swinging free, careering at up to 100mph through six spinning loops.
The added excitement with this ride is that it is seriously high and lasts ages - so plenty of time to admire the view. Andy Hine, chairman of the Roller coaster Club of Great Britain, describes it as like being on a demented ski-lift.
Where to book: Fantasy Island, Skegness, Lincolnshire (01754 872030, fantasyisland.co.uk). Tickets: pay per ride from 60p to £4.
Best for sheer panic
Shockwave, Drayton Manor
If you think being suspended from the track above is as crazy as it gets, think again. These days you can stand-up on a roller coaster. Legs and shoulders in an upright harness, you ride round the loops and curves fully standing on Shockwave - the only coaster of its kind in Europe. Believe me, standing up like this makes you feel extremely exposed.
It made me light-headed. I experienced a moment of blind panic as we were winched up the incline. The fear of flying out of the thing as we zoomed round the first loop made me grit my teeth. That sensation lasted until we hit the first drop. Then I was laughing like a lunatic all the way.
Where to book: Drayton Manor Park, Tamworth, Staffordshire (08708 725252, draytonmanor.co.uk). Tickets: Adult £17.50, child (under 12) £13.50; family £57.
Best for fun, fun, fun
Megafobia, Oakwood Park
This is the UK's biggest "woodie", and it's only four years old. Whatever steel-and-technology coaster fans might say, the wooden formula still offers plenty of thrills. It took over one million feet of timber to make Megafobia. It's situated on a hillside, which means the track banks at steeper angles than you'd expect. Not particularly scary, it's just a whole lot of fun.
This is one of Andy Hine's favourite rides. "It's just what roller coasters should be like," he says. One for just sitting back and enjoying the ride.
Where to book: Oakwood Park, Canaston Bridge, Narbeth, Pembrokeshire (08712 206211, oakwood-leisure.com). Tickets: Adult £12.95; child (under 10) £11.95; family £46.80.
Best for complete disorientation
Oblivion, Alton Towers
Fancy dropping head-first into a bottomless pit? Well, Oblivion's the ride to try. The world's first vertical-drop roller coaster plunges you into a black hole and leaves your senses completely confused.
What's also clever is that you're not sure when you're going to be thrown into virtual freefall. You sit hanging for what feels like an eternity face-first over a black tunnel before plummeting 200ft down into the ground at 70mph. It's a short but intense ride.
Best for vertiginous views
The Big One, Blackpool Pleasure Beach
The Big One is so high that it is topped by aircraft beacons, and offers a stomach-churning 205ft, 65-degree descent. The speed and length of that first colossal plunge is quite breathtaking, but it's the long slow winch up to the top beforehand with views as far as the Isle of Man that is probably more unnerving. Built in 1994, it's still by far the UK's highest ride and unlikely to be beaten.
Best for adventure
Valhalla, Blackpool Pleasure Beach
Kids could almost persuade mum and dad that this ride is of educational value. Log flumes tend to be just a little tame, but Valhalla gives the formula extra horns. You ride a Viking battleship through twists and wet turns, wind, rain, ice and firestorms on a journey to the immortal resting place of Viking warriors' souls. The ride is indoors, but chances are you'll end up more than a little wet. This one is also great for younger kids who are too short to ride the big roller coasters.
