Ah, Margate. The favoured seaside haunt of cockney combo Chas 'n' Dave... Don't be such a snob. If you could tear yourself away from your Whitstable oysters for long enough, you'd see this much maligned resort has lots to offer.
Really? Like what? Like the Walpole Bay Hotel, an Edwardian gem turned into a 'living museum' by its owners Jane and Peter Bishop. Walking up the marble steps of the art nouveau veranda is like stepping back in time.
In a good way? If you are the kind of person who likes to rummage in bric- a-brac shops, you will think you've died and gone to heaven. Think Edwardian chaises longues, huge palms, black and white photos, Art Nouveau gas lamps, an antique toaster and a small fossil collection - and that's just the reception. A 1920s gated Otis lift will hoist you up to your cosy room decorated with flowery wallpaper, original furniture and views to the sea. Older guests are guaranteed a nostalgia trip, young trendies will fall for its slightly kitsch charm.
Ian Schrager it ain't, then? It's a bit like staying the night at an eccentric aunt's. As we check in there's a cat and a grandchild playing in the reception area and a scent of lilies instead of the usual beige, carpety hotel smell. And when was the last time a hotel manager offered you a hot water bottle as you went up to bed?
Never. How's the food? The dining room has a slightly faded grandeur but the food is good and utterly unpretentious, not a seared shallot or drizzle of balsamic vinegar in sight. My companion demolished her steamed mussels and Dover sole, while my prawn cocktail was the best I've had and the cod wrapped in bacon was sublime.
Whom might I meet in the bar? Guests as diverse as Atomic Kitten and Jonathan Dimbleby have stayed here. Tracey Emin is a regular, Bob Hoskins and Ray Winstone are fans, and Rick Stein dined here.
I take it you'll be going back? Definitely. This is a rare find, faded but not shabby, a grand old seaside hotel which hasn't sold out to the conference and coach party market, with 'The Birdie Song' in the ballroom and a bogus 'spa'. No air conditioning, no power showers but it's got soul.
· Walpole Bay Hotel, Fifth Avenue, Cliftonville, Kent. 01843 221703. Double rooms from £55 a night. Family suites (sleeping four) £85. Includes breakfast.