Poor old Tony Blair. He only has to announce his summer hols and, bang, the annual Premier Holiday Hunting Season really gets going with a vengeance.
This year there were a few stories in the papers last week that he and the family were off to the Caribbean and the avalanche started. Why doesn't he pay? Who's the host? What's wrong with Britain? And why doesn't he just follow the example of either our very own Clem Attlee in the 1940s and 1950s, or Dutch premier Wim Kok now, and spend a jolly couple of weeks driving around the West Country staying in some nice B&Bs?
Oh, give the guy a break. When you've got some miss ing weapons on your mind, you at least want to worry in comfort, without having to dodge the showers on nothing more than a full English breakfast and a few gallons of unleaded on the Dawlish bypass. So it seems this year the Blairs are off to Barbados to stay with either (depending on your choice of daily newspaper) top Christian and Wimbledon a cappella ace Sir Cliff Richard (a £3 million mansion) or leading Tory backer and JCB digger maestro Sir Anthony Bamford at his Heron Bay paddette (no price available, but recently refurbished for countless millions).
But now to cap it all, apart from the usual heavy arms onslaught for not staying at home or slumming it in the Med like the rest of us, the poor Blairs are coming in for some extra-unfriendly fire for even thinking of going to the Caribbean in the summer (honestly, my dear, so uncool ... and nothing for the kids).
Well, I beg to differ. Sure, people (and pretty rich people at that) normally traipse off to the Caribbean in winter, when the dry, hot days and brilliant beaches are maybe at their best. Summer? Isn't it all humidity and hurricanes? And no cricket? There's certainly no cricket - but everything else is pretty near perfect.
I took my 12-year-old daughter for a four-day break there last summer, and she raved about it (and teenaged girls can be very very picky). We stayed at the Blue Waters hotel on the northern coast of Antigua. It's been run for years by a charming but formidable English couple, Keith and Dorothy Martell, and they've wanted to make sure people come back. So they have worked hard to create a friendly and relaxed environment.
Set in lovely grounds, 14 acres of general lushness, Blue Waters is fine for families and couples, all of whom seemed to be chilling out splendidly when we were there. And the hotel lays on a child-minding service for younger kids. There's masses to do (should you feel the need) as well as space to idle the day away sipping on a fruit punch in the shade of a swaying palm.
The hotel buildings are plantation-style, open and breezy, with enticing views of the warm blue sea. It's not small (77 rooms and suites), but feels intimate as you amble to one of the two restaurants for a light lunch before deciding to spend a hard afternoon lying in the sun, watching the hummingbirds dart through the greenery and wondering whether or not you can be bothered to go for another dip in the pool. Or you can wander down to the bath-warm sea and wait for the cranes to drop like missiles as they spot their own light lunch just below the surface.
The hotel's rooms are cool and comfortable and have recently been upgraded with rattan and wood furnishings, while piles of shimmering bougainvillea and hibiscus crowd on to their terraces. When you leave the room the sheer pleasure of being hit by a wall of hot, dry air is worth the trip alone for us chilly northern Europeans.
Most of the staff at Blue Waters have been there for a long time and it tells. Not only do they appear to really like being there (frankly, who wouldn't?), but they are very friendly and endlessly helpful. It's a mark of what Keith has achieved that so many of the island's best hotel staff, with all Antigua's countless luxe hotels to choose from, stay at Blue Waters.
Kayaking, wind surfing, sailing, tennis, gymnasium - they're all there, and we were only 10 minutes from the capital, St John's, a really sweet little place with a lovely, colourful market. It feels very welcoming, as Does the rest of the island. Besides the joys of loafing about, you can also swim with dolphins, which was a real treat. We were only there for a few days but the weather was perfect; hot but not oppressive and no problems with humidity.
So I say leave the Blairs alone. Let them go to the Caribbean if they want to. They'll have a fantastic time, with or without some Bible readings from Sir Cliff. Then at least when Mr T rejoins the fray, he'll have a terrific tan.
Factfile
Roger Alton stayed at Blue Waters, Antigua (01327 831007). He travelled with luxury tailor-made travel specialists Carrier Caribbean (01625 547 020). Carrier offers a low-season summer deal - 1 June to 31 October - of £1,175 per adult and £470 per child on a bed and breakfast basis, including mid-week British Airways flights from Gatwick and private transfers.
