Oh, to have been a fly on the wall at this meeting, the one that decided to plug a cruise holiday by associating it with the most catastrophic voyage in the history of cruising.

Perhaps Door2tour's Titanic Memorial Cruise (door2tour.com) next April is just a cynical ploy to get journalists to cover it – in which case it's worked. But there is no hint of irony in the press release. It talks of the Marco Polo ship as the "epitome of elegance", offering "high levels of comfort, sumptuous dining and a genuinely warm welcome from the crew". Not dissimilar to the Titanic marketing blurb, one imagines.

At least there's no chance of hidden icebergs on the itinerary. The seven-night trip takes in Cobh on the south coast of Ireland (the Titanic's final point of call) the shipyards in Belfast where the ship was built and a commemorative dinner to mark the centenary.

Could this be the start of a whole new genre of disaster tourism? What next? Hindenburg flights?

Inspired by the Titanic cruise, we have had a dig around for a few more madcap holiday ideas and hotel gimmicks. If you come across any, please let us know.

Are these the best B&B rooms in Wigan?

So runs the headline of one of our all-time favourite press releases. When we read on, we certainly had to agree that Number Fifteens [sic] Bar, Bistro and Rooms (fifteensswinley.com) probably is the best in Wigan, if not the whole of the north-west. Can any other B&Bs match its spotless carpets? We doubt it. "The bargain price of £45 comes at a price – guests have to kick off their boots or shoes and walk barefoot or wear slippers when they check in," states the release.

Or its wide range of clientele? "The pricing means that during the week we get builders and contractors, and sometimes proper businessmen in their top-of-the-range Mondeos staying with us while they're working on important construction projects or big business deals in Wigan." And is there another owner who can match Tony Callaghan's determination to be the best? "Pound for pound, these are the best-quality B&B rooms in Wigan, and we intend them to stay that way."

Travel for free on Greyhound coaches (if you're a Greyhound dog)

The best marketing is creative. Greyhound seems to have missed this point by a country mile. Just because the company is called Greyhound doesn't mean targeting actual greyhound (dog) owners makes sound marketing sense. "Greyhound dogs will be able to travel for free …" was the brilliant idea the coach folks came up with to plug the first anniversary of Greyhound in the UK last year. They'd even done their research: "There are around 30,000 greyhounds in the UK and Greyhound UK is predicting a surge in interest from London-based owners looking for a day trip to the South Coast," said the press release. Watch out, Brighton!

The Marmalade cruise

The cruise industry provides rich pickings for anyone in search of an esoteric holiday. A couple of years ago Ullswater Steamers (ullswater-steamers.co.uk) offered the chance to test "some very special connoisseur's [sic] marmalades" during its aptly named Marmalade cruise. Sweet! Sadly, the Marmalade cruise was a one-off. But surely it's only a matter of time before the idea, er, spreads.

The (enforced) silent retreat

Of all the hotel gimmicks we've come across, this is probably the most bonkers. Inspired by the peace and "feeling of togetherness in Nature that the magical mountains radiate", the owners of Hotel La Perla in Corvara in the Dolomites (hotel-laperla.it) decided to impose a Day of Silence on their guests. That's right. Not a single word was to pass the lips of guests or staff for 24 hours. The Day "as it will surely be known for generations to come" kicked off at 3pm with three gongs, included a gala dinner where "communication was the name of the game and with those age-old but often neglected aids of smiles, touch, nods and winks, and indeed even a hug or two" and culminated in a performance by "an out of this world belly dancer accompanied by the silent flute player". Seriously, we're not making this stuff up.

Customise your hotel room. With a teapot

Runner-up in the award for worst hotel gimmick goes to Waterhead Hotel (englishlakes.co.uk/hotels) on Windermere and its cunning plan to offer guests the chance to personalise their hotel room with a choice of paintings, pillows, sweets, teapots. Of course. Many's a time I have thought "this hotel room would be so much better if only it had 'a novelty teapot in the shape of a bath complete with yellow duck'." Then there's the smell, or "aroma" as Waterhead prefer to call it. Ever wanted your hotel room to smell like a minicab? Simple – just choose a vanilla cucpcake scented candle. You can place it next to the family photo – which you will have emailed the hotel in advance so that they can include it in the digital picture frame.

And finally ... camp with pigs

Bored of glamping? Eastbrook Farm (helenbrowningorganics.co.uk) in Wiltshire clearly is – instead of yurts, tipis or gypsy caravans, it offered visitors the chance to sleep in pig houses last summer – not converted pig houses, but the actual tin arcs usually used by their 3,000 pigs. The only luxury – fresh straw to lie on. "You will wake to the sound of about 150 pigs yawning," read the release. "And at night you will see, or hear, or feel, badgers, deer, rabbits, foxes, mice, weasels, stoats – and livestock." Sounds terrifying. But that didn't stop some of the 250 people who turned up for Pigstock, the farm's annual mini festival, booking the pig houses. Pigstock isn't running this year but the farm assures us it will be back next August. Could this be the beginning of the end for posh camping?