Why? I find big shipping centres nostalgic - something to do with my father being a captain when I was a kid. Parts of the island may be heavily industrial but there are also massive areas where there's nothing at all. I was there twice in 1988, and for me Taiwan is unfinished business. I always thought I'd go back but then I got arrested [for drug smuggling]. I'd still like to return - though they probably wouldn't let me in now.
The best thing: Shihtou Shah, in the short range of mountains. It is also known as Lion's Head Mountain because it resembles one of the big cats when it is viewed from the right angle. The mountain is a centre of Buddhism, too, and there are many temples dotted around it.
My ideal day: I spent a lot of time in Taipai's bath houses, which are amazing. They are filled with cascading waterfalls and deep freezes next to saunas.
My advice: Try to visit the Dog temple on the north of the island. Locals believe that touching the golden dog statue of a faithful canine that perished along with 17 merchant seamen after a bad storm, will bring them good luck. It is also the main temple for crooks, muggers and prostitutes, who all go there to worship on a Friday night. You don't have to worry about them stealing your valuables if you go - these folk are not there to work, they are there to pray.
Getting there: Cheapflights (cheapflights.com) has flights between Heathrow and Taipei from £569 return.
Where was your best holiday? Sicily.
What's the best hotel you have stayed in? The Oriental, Bangkok (+66 (2) 659 9000, mandarinoriental.com, from $300 per room per night).
Where do you want to go next? Panama.
What do you never travel without? A small piece of dope.
· 101 Uses of a Dead Roach by Howard Marks and Simon Bond is published by Arrow at £5.99.