Is the world's biggest cruise ship, launched yesterday, a triumph of size over style? The toilets may pipe The Strokes, not Sinatra but Gwyn Topham can't shake the feeling it might all turn a bit Debbie McGee
Liberty of the Seas ... the world's biggest cruise ship
Last night, I had a glimpse of the future - and it's found in Southampton. The world's biggest cruise ship, carrying up to 5,730 people, Liberty of the Seas, was officially launched and set sail to join its twin, Freedom of the Seas, in the Caribbean. Next year, a third such megaliner will be based here full time, with cruise company Royal Caribbean hoping to bring a touch of Miami to our shores.
The ship is massive, indisputably. Stylish? The jury's out. A black-tie dinner in the Rembrandt dining room, with its massive chandelier and sweeping staircases, could have been a scene - as a woman next to me exclaimed before hastily apologising - straight from the Titanic. But breakfast wouldn't have flattered a Happy Eater. The show in the massive 1,320 seat theatre had glossy production values and the skating in the startling setting of an onboard ice rink was strangely beautiful. Yet I couldn't quite banish the fear that the entertainment might all turn a bit Debbie McGee.
Researching a recent book, I'd focussed on the dark side of cruising. Nothing more sinister occurred yesterday than entering my allotted stateroom (as cabins are known) to find it already occupied by the belongings of one Mr Johansen, although fortunately not the man himself. Staff pointed me on a long trudge with my bags to Guest Relations, five floors down across the ship. I eventually got a cabin - but the time and manner in which it was resolved made me wonder - would I want these people looking after me in a real emergency?
The ship will no doubt look better out at sea in sunnier climes than docked in a grey British port. The frozen pina coladas looked a little forlorn. And the best efforts of a solitary basketball player and climber demonstrating the facilities on deck, including a surf simulator, couldn't really shake the out-of-season feel.
But you could certainly see that it could be a lot of fun, not least if you like to drink or gamble. It's also pitched at families and a younger clientele with whom cruising is popular - in the US if less so here. When Royal Caribbean pulled out Lust for Life as their advertising anthem it was widely derided, but they seem to mean it. Even the toilets pipe The Strokes, not Sinatra. A cruise director kept popping up to cajole us into having ever more fun, demanding applause for entertainers and crew. It was easy to give in.
Royal Caribbean haven't been shy in naming their new megaliners: Freedom, Liberty and Independence. It's a very specific form of freedom. Disembarking with my computerised pass through the maze of gangways, scanners, gates, security, customs and other barriers sealing the ship from the outside world, I felt a certain relief at coming out to rainy Britain rather than being greeted by a full cruise worth of jollity.
As the ships grow ever bigger, a staff member told me, some of the most popular cabins are those with views of the massive shopping street running through the inside of the ship. It's a bit like travelling in the Truman Show - a world of comfort and unalloyed pleasure, where danger is banished (well, almost). It's not for everyone - but it looks like cruising in Britain is set to become very big indeed.
