Check-in at Haven's Devon Cliffs holiday park is not for the fainthearted. Follow the signs to reception and you will be directed into a vast amusement arcade where hundreds of winking, bleeping, slot machines compete with the psychedelic carpet for your attention and the sweet smell of doughnuts hangs stickily in the air. If you ever manage to find your way out of this room – and I suspect some don't – an escalator will carry you up to Bugsy's ShowBar, a dark, cavernous room where pop music is playing and the waiting "FunStars" (Haven's answer to Pontins' Bluecoats) will hand you your caravan keys and a programme of the week's activities. Emerging blinking into the daylight, you will be confronted by the sight of children dangling from bungee wires as they bounce on giant trampolines. It's a lot to take in.
I have always had a bit of a soft spot for caravan parks. As a child it never occurred to me that there was any other kind of holiday. Over a period of about 15 consecutive summers, our family stayed at various holiday camps in the south and east of the country, from Camber Sands to Clacton-on-Sea, eventually settling on a site called Holimarine near Great Yarmouth, which we returned to year after year. Had my parents ever dared to suggest a change of scene – a package holiday abroad, a country cottage, a city break – I'm fairly certain our world would have fallen apart. We loved everything about those holidays: the outdoor pool we'd play in, come rain or shine, until we literally turned blue, making friends with kids with funny accents, the talent show, the teen disco, even the slightly damp and claustrophobic caravan with its narrow bunkbeds and tiny wardrobes.
I moved on, of course, discovered the joy of hotels and foreign travel, but it was perhaps inevitable that when I had a child of my own, my thoughts would return to the holidays of my childhood. And so I find myself, with my parents and two-year-old daughter Nora in tow, at Haven's "flagship" site near Exmouth in Devon, curious to see whether the great British caravan park has stood the test of time.
After the unpromising start, things take an uphill turn, both literally and metaphorically. Climbing up an impossibly steep slope to an area called the Terraces, we eventually locate our caravan perched on a hillside with panoramic views across the rest of the site. It's vast. It has been said that astronauts can see the Great Wall of China from space. I'm willing to bet they can see Devon Cliffs, too. In every direction, rows and rows of caravans cover this prime stretch of rolling Devon coastline, creeping up the hillsides and perching on the clifftop overlooking the sandy beach. We are staying in a three-bedroom Prestige caravan, which is spacious, clean and inoffensively decorated in neutral shades, with a large wraparound veranda, two bathrooms, flatscreen TV with DVD player, a well-equipped kitchen and wonderful sea views.
It quickly becomes apparent that it's not just the accommodation that has been dragged into the 21st century. The choice of entertainment and activities on offer is mind-boggling. A couple of one-armed bandits and a giant outdoor chess set were considered cutting-edge entertainment at Holimarine. But competition from Center Parcs has forced traditional holiday parks to improve their offering and children can now choose from a daily activity menu that includes archery, fencing, football coaching, circus skills, abseiling and ice-skating. Younger children can take part in messy-play sessions, treasure hunts, nature walks and breakfasts with Haven's resident cast of "characters" (which includes a pink elephant with the rather disconcerting name of Anxious), while adults can escape from the mayhem in the impressive spa complex with its sauna, steam room, hot tubs and long list of massage and beauty treatments. The site even has its own branch of Starbucks with Wi-Fi access. But perhaps the biggest draw for families – and certainly my daughter's favourite thing – is the fantastic swimming pool complex, comprising a huge indoor pool with various water flumes and slides and three outdoor pools.
After a day or two, an easy routine establishes itself: beach in the morning, swimming pool and adventure playground in the afternoon, then back to the caravan for an early tea so we can be at Bugsy's in time for the toddlers' disco and children's entertainment.
Walking around the site, the sense of being in a holiday bubble, a parallel universe where normal rules and parent/child protocols are temporarily suspended, is palpable. It's probably what I recall most vividly about my own childhood holidays. Dads who are old enough to know better launch themselves gleefully down the giant twisting water slide, curling themselves into a ball for maximum impact on hitting the water at the bottom; a heavily pregnant woman does her best Jimi Hendrix impression as she plays Guitar Hero with her son in the amusement arcade; and babies in fancy dress drink sleepily from bottles in their pushchairs at the side of the dance floor.
As I watch my ecstatic two-year-old daughter spinning around in a teapot on the mini-carousel, it occurs to me that this is the opposite of glamping. It's not stylish, it's not simple and it's probably not very wholesome, but by golly it's fun. The new breed of posh campsites, with their whimsically retro bunting, Cath Kidston cushion covers and vintage china teacups, can feel somewhat contrived, but if you want a real dose of holiday nostalgia, head over to Bugsy's where I'm genuinely happy to discover talent shows and prize bingo are still on the entertainment bill.
There are a couple of things I don't like. The site is not pedestrian-friendly. It's huge and hilly and there are hardly any pavements, so there's a lot of traffic on the roads as people use their cars to drive to the entertainment centre or the beach – not ideal if you are walking around with small children or want them to play outside. I also hate the fact that it seems to have been designed so that to get anywhere you have to walk through the middle of the amusement arcade. But the positives outweigh the negatives. The site is immaculately kept, the staff are friendly and cheerful and the setting is stunning. For somewhere so huge it all runs quite smoothly, although I imagine things can get a bit frenetic during the school holidays.
I've stayed at Center Parcs and enjoyed it, but the more upmarket caravan parks can offer a great value alternative and can easily compete in terms of the range of activities on offer and quality of accommodation if you go for one of the higher-grade caravans.
In the face of the current craze for glamping, with its emphasis on low-key and wholesome outdoor pursuits such as foraging for berries and toasting marshmallows over campfires, a traditional caravan park holiday can look horribly unfashionable. And on a purely aesthetic level, a couple of tastefully appointed yurts in an orchard is always going to win out over a sprawling caravan park. But ask your average nine-year-old whether he or she would rather be collecting eggs from a hen coop or rolling around in a giant plastic bubble on a huge inflatable castle and I have an idea what the answer will be.
• A week's stay in a two-bedroom Prestige caravan costs from £819 for a family of up to six in August. A three-night break in September starts at £279 (0871 230 1900, haven.com/parks/devon/devon-cliffs). Return fares from London to Exmouth with First Great Western (firstgreatwestern.co.uk) start from £12 each way
