Packed and ready: Susan's belongingsMinty arse lard. Yep, you heard me right. Forget 70-mile climbs through the Rocky Mountains or cycling through dust storms in Kansas, the thing that scares me most is being in so much pain from chaffing that I'll happily smear minty lard on my, er, arse.

That's not its technical term you understand, just a nickname that makes asking for it in Brixton Cycles all the more excruciating.

Saying it though is almost like a secret initiation into the cycling world. People look at you and think: "ah, she's one of them what cycles so many miles a day her backside resembles cows hide." Bingo! You're in the club. Which is a great feeling because so far it's the other members I've met who've helped assuage my fears, provide handy tips and make the 4,247 mile trip across the USA seem like an exciting adventure rather than a bizarre forerunner to permanent insanity.

But I'm still petrified. Every time I picture myself cycling out of Washington DC in the early morning light, I burst into fits of manic laughter because it seems so ridiculous. Who on earth does that girl think she is? She's so small and America is so big! Look at her pedalling like the clappers as if she actually knows what she's doing.

It's a challenge alright. Grandma Potts always used to tell me to think only about the next few hours - wise, wise lady. I've planned a lot. I'm amazed at how many organic farms, shops and markets I've unearthed in states like Kentucky - but I'm also really looking forward to seeing what each day brings. Any disasters will no doubt be met with a deranged cackle, which should scare off any wild beasts at least.

I can't wait to get to Wyoming and Montana and I'm really curious about Kansas. Apart from the headwind. I hope I don't get too lonely and I hope I learn not to talk to myself OUT LOUD.

And I hope no one refers to me as the littlest hobo. You have been warned.

Oh, and PS: if you're a girl and interested in cycling check out Minx Girl. It saved my life. Fashionably speaking.