The Eurovision song contest is like the gay Olympics – and I say this with all my love. I’m really looking forward to the show in Vienna. If you get the chance to come, there will be loads of comedians doing Eurovision review shows with big Eurovision names from the past 60 years.
I’d seen boys kissing in other cities, but when I first went clubbing in Vienna there were just so many of them! I was 13 and visiting from Styria - where I grew up - with my best friend Florian. We stayed with his uncle who was so cool not telling our mums we were going to clubs. Did we get in? Of course, I always knew people! I just thought, Oh my God! This is paradise.
Give me Britney Spears and I’m dancing all night long. Britney, Kylie, I’m all in. That’s why one of my favourite clubs is the Ken Club. It’s really just pop-pop-pop, and I love that. I’ve had so many nights coming out of the club when it’s daylight and doing the walk of shame home.
We’re spoilt for drag and burlesque venues here, we live in a fairytale. We’ve got castles here, ballet there and everything is over the top and really romantic. Inside the Volkstheater, in the centre of the city, you’ll find the Rote Bar, which has lots of burlesque shows, where artists really go for it.
The Cuban Mojito Bar is basically my second living room. It’s hosted by Cuban friends of mine and they mix the best mojito in the whole city. It’s a nice place to start a night out, totally in the centre of town, next to the Stephansdom, so you can have drinks there then go wherever you want.
Vienna has been a huge influence on Conchita but I wouldn’t say I’m a symbol of the city. Some friends of mine who do drag have this really typical Viennese woman character; they love taking a walk on Sundays, visiting the castle – very classy. I try to be classy, but I don’t know if I am …
I love to go out as Conchita, but I prefer to go out as Tom. When I’m Conchita I might have to be in more selfies than I have drinks.
If you want a very fancy meal go to the Sacher hotel. It’s very chic and very posh. But if you want a cheap meal, go to the stands where you get a sausage. My favourite sausage stand is actually right near the Sacher … it’s just beside the Albertina museum. That, I think, is the best sausage place in Vienna.
For years I used to host the Salon Kitty Revue with my fairytale husband Jacques Patriaque. He’s still doing that burlesque show along with three girls and it’s just fabulous. You should also look out for Tamara Mascara. She’s a huge artist in Vienna and did my make up on Eurovision.
Wherever you are in the world, you figure out in a second where the gay royalty is, and it’s the same in Vienna. I won’t rank them, but our royalty would include Miss Kandy – she’s the well-known drag queen who appeared in the 90s. Then there’s Tamara, and Gery Keszler, he’s the founder of the Life Ball, Europe’s biggest charity event supporting people with HIV and Aids.
If you want to go down well with the locals, don’t mix up your German and your Austrian. It’s a dialect thing. Sometimes people get really annoyed and they will correct you in a very harsh way, which can be funny.
• Conchita’s autobiography, Being Conchita: We Are Unstoppable, is released on 7 May, and her debut self-titled album on 18 May. Eurovision takes place in Vienna from 18-23 May
