People of the Guardian, and others … For five days starting on 26 August, I'm yours. That morning, I'll be waking up in Chicago, and will be at your service, primed for a working week as a wandering pawn. My journey will be the fifth instalment of the Guardian's reader-powered TwiTrips through the US. I'm aiming to end in Memphis via Indianapolis, somewhere in Kentucky (you decide, hint: I like whisky, or whiskey, or bourbon, I won't take you to task over which – until I've sampled it), and also Nashville.
I need you. Apart from a vague notion of the route, I'll have nothing planned, taking my lead in real time from the tips you send in on Twitter and GuardianWitness. Feel free to ignore this, but I have a request. I want weird. Wonderfully weird.
I'm a hopeless Americaphile, and am never more in love with that country than when I discover a slice of its never-ending beautiful oddness. My favourite-ever memory of the US? Sitting at a $1 roulette table in the El Cortez casino in downtown Vegas, having a lengthy conversation with a cross-dressing Vietnam vet who still had shrapnel in his leg, while being served free, horrible, strawberry daiquiris by a 60-year-old in hotpants.
That kind of thing, please.
An American friend has already sent me a few suggestions regarding the places I might visit, including whiskey distilleries, Lower Broadway in Nashville, Graceland, the John Dillinger museum, the home of the Louisville Slugger baseball bat, demolition derbies, some other things. DEMOLITION DERBIES?! What are they? Forget everything I just said and send me to a demolition derby. Please!
View Guardian Twitter trip: Chicago-Memphis in a larger map
Also, my friend mentioned that Indianapolis isn't up to much. Did you hear that Indianapolis? My mate dissed you. Let's prove him wrong, and send him endless selfies of brilliantness happening right there in Indianapolis.
Also, a personal plea. I went on the Guardian's first-ever TwiTrip back in 2009, and have been on dozens since. TwiTrips were my baby. They were my thing. Over the last few months I watched in horror as Adam Gabbatt, Jacob Steinberg, Katie Rogers and then Marcel Theroux took the reins of the horse – my horse – and were bloody brilliant. I hated it. I sat in my bedroom for weeks, shouting at the moon and throwing darts at cardboard cutouts of their faces.
This is my glorious return. I must beat them. This TwiTrip must be the best yet. I want your tips to be so awesome that it makes them all cry. "My trip was good," they'll think, "but holy mother of heaven, I didn't even know it was possible to have THAT much fun. I must retire immediately."
Got it? Good. I'll see you on the 26th. Bring it on …
• For more information on holidays in the USA, visit DiscoverAmerica.com
