Well, this is weird. Twenty minutes ago, I was sat in rush-hour traffic, outside B&M Bargains in Preston. Now, I'm stood in a room where James I once tried to cure scrofula, or the "king's evil", back when it was thought a royal touch could heal the skin disease. Long before the landed gentry started opening their houses to oiks like us.
That is the dramatic disconnect you can expect at Hoghton Tower, a grand, 16th-century castellated country house, home to the de Hoghton family, which, in one of its atmospheric courtyards, includes a self-catering apartment, the Irishman's Tower, where two people can secrete themselves away. It is a cosy nook: a compact, split-level space with both modern amenities (iPod dock, Wi-Fi) and oodles of charm.
Slick luxury you can get anywhere, at a price, and the tower has that. With its toasty underfloor heating, handsome Roca and Grohe fixtures and thick cotton towels, the bathroom is bang-on. But it is the small mullioned windows; the sections of rugged exposed stone wall; an open log fire; the heavy curtains across an ancient oak front door, that give this apartment that rarer quality: real character.
The elevated views, back down Hoghton's long drive, are magnificent. Squint and you might even spy the Irish Sea. But what to do for kicks in all that wet, vividly green Lancashire countryside? Eat well, walk lots, drink good beer, of course. It is just a short drive to the Ribble Valley, a genuine gastro hub. Stock up at Huntley's food hall in Samlesbury or eat at the Freemasons at Wiswell. For such sharp cooking, its two-course £15.95 seasonal menu is a real steal.
Closer to home, in Pleasington, you'll find the Clog & Billycock, one of Michelin-starred Northcote chef Nigel Haworth's excellent diffusion pubs. Of two walkable locals, I headed to the TV and music-free Thwaites house, the Royal Oak in Riley Green. Back at the tower, beneath a voluminous duvet, I slept the sleep of the just. And the slightly merry.
Gripes? Well, I was presented with several pages of documents to sign, relating to use of the Wi-Fi. A first. Bread, even Waitrose bread, is not so much use if the welcome pack doesn't contain butter. Toiletries from an old family firm in Chorley, are a nice touch, but Droyts only makes traditional glycerine soaps, so no shampoo.
That tower guests also have to pay to enter the gardens and house (£2.20 gardens/£8 house and gardens) – which have links to Shakespeare and Dickens – seems penny-pinching. Hoghton Tower is a charitable trust, but, even so, when paying more than £100 a night, that might rankle. But otherwise, this is a special occasion destination guaranteed to wow.
• For more on Lancashire, see visitlancashire.com. Travel from Manchester to Preston was provided by First TransPennine Express (tpexpress.co.uk)
