This isn't quite how the other half live. In Cheshire, the other half stay at the Chester Grosvenor. But, for us, mere mortals, wage slaves craving a little self-indulgence, the Grand Fir, a Scandinavian-style wooden lodge, will certainly qualify as swanky.
It is one of three high-spec, self-catering lodges at The Hollies, an upmarket rural development, near Delamere Forest, that comprises food store, caravan site, cafe and plant nursery, as well as several cute wooden-shell Hideaway pods (from £43 a night). Partially hidden, among spruces and conifers, the Grand Fir is a world away from such camping options. There is even a hot tub on its smart, decked terrace.
But no way was I testing that in November. Instead, it was an evening to hunker down in the expansive lounge, marvel at the underfloor heating, and slouch on fat, squishy sofas in front of a TV (complete with Wii, DVD, iPod dock, CD player), so huge that, I felt, if I sat too close, I might end up with sunburn.
If all that sounds a little Footballers' Wives, relax. This is Cheshire. A modicum of bling – hot tubs and jumbo TVs – goes with the territory. (There is, but of course, a polo ground next to The Hollies.) In general, though, while you might quibble with certain interior design features (for instance, a mounted chrome stag's head), the Grand Fir has been furnished with discretion and restraint.
Good use has been made of textured, patterned woodland wallpapers; it is uncluttered, with eye-catching items, such as that stag, or two oversized retro-modern lamps, kept to a tasteful minimum. The beige-brown colour scheme is conservative, but allied with some clever lighting, it gives the open-plan lounge-kitchen a very cosy, restful feel. It is not just handsome, but user-friendly, too. From an outside light clicking on as you approach the porch, to the spare batteries by the remote control, the practical detail is unusually sharp. There are Le Crueset pans in a well-equipped, idiot-proof kitchen, and a serious Big Green Egg barbecue outside. Solid interior doors shut with a satisfying click. Roman blinds are robust. Hollow-fibre duvets and pillows, however, have no place in a five-star property.
From £40pp per night, based on six sharing, such luxury is relatively affordable and, with three separate bedrooms and 2½ bathrooms, you wouldn't be under each others' feet, either. To keep the cost down, treat yourself to a few bits from the farm shop (crisp Cheshire Gold ale or forthright local cheese, Nantwich blue), while swerving The Hollies cafe. Its breakfast is first-rate, particularly the bacon and sausage from the on-site butcher. However, £12.99 for a full English, juice and coffee, is hard to justify. At lunch, you'll pay £8 or £9 for a baguette. For that money, I'd expect, not a sandwich, but a life-changing experience.
• For more on Cheshire, see visitchester.com
