"Hot meat coming through!" whooped toffee vodka-primed guests at Gay Ski Buddies 2012's fondue and barbecue party, as groaning platters of filets mignon, lamb chops and king prawns were marched to the buffet.

Few people have more fun with gay stereotypes – pathological promiscuity, Olympic-standard hedonism and flashy extravagance to name just a few – than gay people. But stereotypes they are, and their rather literal translation into the various LGBT-oriented European ski events that have sprung up over the last two decades has left many gay skiers and snowboarders out in the cold. That Gay Ski Buddies, now in its third year, has a different agenda is clear from the first click on its website, where the complete absence of images of pouting, steroidal himbos gambolling up the Alps in ski goggles and overstuffed briefs makes it virtually unique among its peers.

For Niko Martikas, founder of Gay Ski Buddies, being charged a queen's ransom for an espresso-sized vodka and tonic at European Gay Ski Week in Tignes three years ago was the final straw . "I went to gay events there, in Alpe d'Huez, Sölden in Austria and Whistler in Canada," he says, "and while I had a lot of fun, I never found the event I really wanted. One that prioritised first-class skiing, rather than taking advantage of the cheap end of the season when the snow can be dicey. One less focused on youth, testosterone and all-night partying."

Putting the word out through friends he'd met at these events, Martikas hosted Gay Ski Buddies' first holiday in Méribel in January 2011. Drawing 45 guests, the package bundled flights, transfers, catered accommodation across three exclusive-use chalets and lift passes for Les Trois Vallées, famously the world's largest linked ski area. On the social side, it threw in free daily ski hosting for groups of varying skill levels, a designated lunch restaurant daily and après bar for those who wanted to up the en-masse ante, and a cosy party, liberally lubricated with free drinks, every other night.

Instead of slapping on extra charges for every branded activity, Martikas used the group's bulk-buying power, and canny partnerships with local businesses – 40% off ski and board rentals and cut-price drinks all week at two of the resort's best bars – to drive costs down, ultimately offering very competitive rates for one of Europe's best ski destinations in the heart of the season (finally, decades after a million aspirational brands began ruthlessly rinsing the "pink pound", a champion for pink penny-pinching). Such was the trip's success, Martikas had more than 30 promises of repeat bookings before he boarded his plane home.

I joined Gay Ski Buddies 2012's 72-strong ranks in January. At their annual tipsy takeover of the bowling alley in Méribel's Olympic Centre, I was struck by the group's diversity and their relaxed, clique-free interaction. Jamie, a 25-year-old Londoner bantered with Ian and Trevor, a couple for 43 years and, by the end of the week, the holiday's unofficial poster boys for genteel suburban retirement.

Greek gym bunny Spyros slugged it out on the air hockey table with (straight) Californian property adviser Christina, one of four female Buddies who were having far too much fun to let 68 gay men make them feel marginalised, while I chatted to a bisexual married father of two about the trials of running a double life.

Only a conspicuous amount of expensive dental work and some very snug T-shirts marked out the mainly thirty- and fortysomething crowd, collectively hailing from the UK, Greece, Holland, Sweden, Russia and South Africa, from any other bowling night gathering as, fuelled by the free bar and a suitably disco-slanted mixtape, they whipped up an atmosphere of chummy competition.

Martikas' mid-season strategy paid off handsomely with a combination of powder-dumping storms and perfect bluebird days, and, in guided groups of around 10, the high proportion of fit and experienced Buddies racked up some deeply butch mileage to pretty much every corner of Méribel, Courchevel, Val Thorens and Les Menuires. The recommended daily mountain restaurants attracted good lunch turnouts – usually 30 to 40 Buddies a day – and served as great informal rendezvous points, where many Buddies swapped groups for the afternoon session, either for a change of pace or to spend time with some new faces.

Despite the discounts our Gay Ski Buddies wristbands entitled us to at Méribel's premier après bacchanal, the Rond Point, most guests preferred to end the day's sport with a little R&R back at their chalets ahead of hors d'oeuvres, drinks and lingering dinners whose affable conversations often lingered past midnight in a languorous sofa sprawl. Unless, of course, it was a party night, and the welcome cocktail night, bowling bash, barbecue and farewell fancy-dress fest each drew nearly every guest back out into the snow to mingle.

For all the smart planning, diverse activities and Martikas' considerable gifts as an attentive and charming host, it's this mellow, relaxed pace and the holiday's scale that are Gay Ski Buddies' master strokes. Essentially a friends' group holiday that has grown organically to welcome friends of friends plus some like-minded newcomers who have discovered the trip online, the trip has a relaxed, house-party vibe that's effortlessly inclusive.

Based in chalets, all guests quickly get to know a small group, which naturally overlaps with other groups out on the mountain or at a party and knitting everyone what feels a little like a mass holiday bromance. (Faced with his second exponential spike in demand following January's trip, Martikas has chosen to put on multiple weeks rather than risk this intimate dynamic by simply growing the week to capacity – following the February 2013 outing, Gay Ski Buddies makes its Austrian debut in St Anton next March). Plus, having a (cover charge-free) party only every other night leaves time for spontaneity, or simply for banking some quality sleep ahead of another round of full-blooded downhilling the next day without guests' feeling they are missing out.

Nor does all this sensibleness rule out a decent helping of frivolous, fruity fun. The silly hat-themed farewell party saw plenty of the Buddies partying like it was 1999, many until minutes before boarding their airport transfer coaches. As generous stocks of champagne, beer and the seasonaire's staple toffee vodka were systematically demolished, more classic gay stereotypes surfaced as some of the better-maintained Buddies peeled off their T-shirts on the dancefloor. Even our dignified seniors were in cheeky mood, as Ian ribbed Trevor for his girlish coyness around a handsome young ski instructor earlier in the week.

"He can always tell when I'm undressing someone with my eyes," tutted Trevor.

"Yes," deadpanned Ian. "Your goggles steam up."

• Gay Ski Buddies (gayskibuddies.com) provided the trip. It will return to Méribel from 2-9 February 2013. Prices including flights from Gatwick, transfers, half-board accommodation, ski pass, ski hosting and four parties start at £995 if booked by 17 November (Guardian readers can continue to receive the early bird booking by mentioning this article when they book, up to 30 November). The St Anton trip is from 16-23 March and costs from £1,100. The company is also launching summer activity trips to Halkidiki and Sivota in Greece next year