Purton Green, Suffolk
Most houses are remote simply because they were built somewhere no one has thought to build anything. Purton Green, however, has achieved remoteness by having everything else around it disappear. The only remaining house of a "lost village", beneath its thatched roof lurks its own grand hall dating from 1250. The village's ancient thoroughfare is now a mere footpath across fields, with the nearest road 400 yards away (a wheelbarrow is provided to ferry your luggage), so if you don't feel cut off from civilisation here, there's probably no hope for you.
• From £466 a week (sleeps four), 01628 825925, landmarktrust.co.uk
Skiddaw, Scales Plantation, Cumbria
Going without a telly, Wi-Fi and mobile is all well and good, but going completely off-grid as well adds a certain joyful thrill of disconnectedness to your holiday. These three traditional shepherds' huts in their own glades at the fringe of a wood mix freedom from utilities with lashings of compensatory comforts (and views), including top-notch cosy bedding and a separate well-appointed kitchen hut. Best of all though, is the luxury bathroom in a forest shelter where you can wallow in perfect peace.
• From £65 a night (sleeps four); 01275 395447, canopyandstars.co.uk
Blagdon Water House Boats, Holsworthy, Devon
There's a reason you haven't heard of Blagdon Water – it's a private waterway no boat may sail down. Which makes it all the more peaceful for the three traditional canal barges moored there in the heart of Ruby Country (the land between Exmoor, Dartmoor and Bodmin Moor). A hundred yards apart and each with its own little summerhouse or boathouse (and solar-powered electricity), the three bob about in the midst of their own 35 acres of rural loveliness where kestrels, barn owls and buzzards thrive.
• From £385 a week (sleeps four-six); 01409 255730, blagdonwater.com
Badrallach, Ross-shire
Above Little Loch Broom on the west coast of Scotland's far-flung Scoraig peninsula (it's 14 miles by road to the nearest shop), Badrallach offers no fewer than five ways to rest your head: an Airstream, a "normal" caravan, a gas-lit bothy, a campsite and a cottage whose sole concessions to the 21st century have been the installation of two power sockets and two electric lights. The owners also hire out bikes, kayaks and small boats in case staying in a hamlet with a population of 12 feels a little too urban.
• Cottage from £260 a week, Airstream £450, caravan £200, bothy £6 a night, campsite £6.50 a night; 01854 633281, badrallach.com
Rhenigidale Hostel, Harris, Western Isles
It wasn't until 1990 that the hamlet of Rhenigidale got its own road. Up until then, the inhabitants had to walk over hills or sail around the shore if they wanted to reach civilisation. However, the tiny community (no shop, no pub, no nothing) still feels like the end of the known world. It's a surprise then to find they have their own hostel here, a small white house with just 13 beds upstairs, a kitchen and communal lounge downstairs, and wondrous views out over the rugged Harris coast.
• Adult £12 a night, under-18s £7 (no booking); gatliff.org.uk
Skiary, Loch Hourn, Highlands
Hosted by a young, friendly and resourceful couple, Skiary lays claim to being Britain's most remote guesthouse. With no road access, visitors are ferried from the head of Loch Hourn to a world untouched by modernity. Off-grid as well as off-comms, evenings are a haze of Tilley lamps, whisky, board games and relaxation from a day spent roaming hills and mountains. Meanwhile, dinner ("we only serve fish we catch ourselves") is taken in a heated candle-lit greenhouse with exquisite views down the loch to the peak of Ladhar Bheinn.
• £89 a night including. breakfast, packed lunch, afternoon tea and dinner; 01809 511214, skiary.com
Old Kilmory Church, Argyll & Bute
With the most westerly point of the British mainland just up the road it's no wonder there's no television reception here – and you can throw that useless phone into the sea too (the secluded beach just a mile away would be a good spot to do it). This former church has been niftily converted into a cosy dwelling, complete with log burner and cushioned window seats, so you can settle into daydream mode as you gaze out across the silent graveyard to the isles of Eigg, Rhum, Muck and Skye.
• From £345 a week (sleeps four); 01972 510262, sawdays.co.uk
Rock Villa Bed & Breakfast, Staylittle, Powys
An unusual L-shaped Methodist chapel built in 1768 to serve local hill farmers, Rock Villa still opens its doors to those seeking peace. A thousand feet up on an eight-acre smallholding (you can buy produce in season), the beautifully turned out rooms sport views of the Cambrian Mountains and the Clywedog Valley. Apparently, it is possible to get a single bar of mobile reception in one very specific place in the house but, for your own good, it's a secret the owners are keeping to themselves.
• Double from £75 (£65 for subsequent nights); 01686 430510, rock-villa.com
Cae Einion, Snowdonia, Gwynedd
Since time immemorial, Snowdonia has served as a safe haven from the world, and this newly opened farmhouse is in the happy position of being a remote oasis within it. On a 750-acre farm, with the nearest house half a mile away, Cae Einion is king of all it surveys, commanding ridiculously spectacular views of the Cader Idris mountain range. There's underfloor heating throughout, while outside there are footpaths to the Cregennan Lakes and the Mawddach Trail along the estuary to the sea at Barmouth.
• From £530 a week (sleeps four); 0844 500 5101, underthethatch.co.uk
Trannish Island Bothy, County Fermanagh
When it's isolation you seek, take a leaf out of the holy book of many a hermit and head for a tiny island. Your adventure into the wilds begins before you even get to Trannish, since you have to paddle your way there across Upper Lough Erne (kayaks and canoes are available for hire). Restored last year, the island's bothy has been very smartly fitted out but you'll need your own food, bedding and drinking water. And for hermits in training, there's a campsite too.
• £8 a night or £80 for exclusive use (sleeps 12); £2 a night camping; 028 677 22122, sharevillage.org
