White-water lilo rafting, Fort William

I am standing on the edge of a thundering 12-metre waterfall with an inflatable lilo in my hand, a swirling mass of white water beneath my feet, and a man telling me to jump. This is the defining moment of the Glen Nevis River Race, an annual bout of Scottish lunacy that sees competitors fling themselves down a two-mile stretch of white-water rapids with nothing but a novelty inflatable for company. As I step out into the thin air I can just hear the crowd above the roar of the water, and for an instant I am a true daredevil.

Up to that point, however, I'd been chewing my fingers off with fear. Here, in the shadow of Ben Nevis, contestants navigate the most dangerous parts of one of Scotland's most challenging rivers. The event is timed, with the winner taking the highly coveted title of World Extreme Lilo Champion. But while competitors have to be kitted out in wetsuits, crash helmets, buoyancy aids and suitable footwear, it's not for the particularly serious. And therein lies the magic of the event – it provides one of those rare moments, so acutely British, when only the preposterousness of your situation matches the bravado required to see it through.

I thumped gorilla fists on to my life jacket as my number was called. A crowd had gathered on the far side of a rocky gully, where the water funnelled in a disorientating swirl of hydraulic noise and energy. But as I crashed heavily through the first set of rapids – clinging desperately to my lilo with one hand while fending off rocks with the other – I realised that I was having the time of my life.

After that defining jump, when I finally popped my head above the water, I understood that – like those climbers who scale impossible mountains "because they're there" – this was one of those wild, existential tonics, only somehow made sweeter by its playful eccentricity. To test your mettle against the elements is brave, but to be able to laugh at yourself while doing so is truly enlightening.
• Entrance is free, but competitors are expected to raise sponsorship money. Parking 50p, nofussevents.co.uk/event/Glen-Nevis-River-Race/1804
Aaron Miller

Vintage bike racing, London

The drizzle has placed a momentary question mark over the safety of the annual Herne Hill velodrome vintage bike race. In the centre of the course, in suburban south London, is an array of decades-old bicycles, a hotchpotch of shapes, sizes and – to the outsider's eye – health hazards, and an equally diverse range of eager riders awaiting the all-clear.

Today's 20 races finally get the go-ahead and the competitors line up – a collection of rickety pre-war machines manned by riders in modern Lycra. A whistle blows, the starting gun explodes and the tyres fizz into motion, jerking unsteadily at the first high bend. This is the idiosyncratic world of antique bike racing.

"You've come in at the death of this wonderful event," says Julian Booty, organiser of the races for 30 years, and dressed in puffed plus fours, garters and a replica Victorian cycling cap. "When we started we'd even have heats for the penny-farthing racing, but now it's come to almost nothing."

Today, not a single penny-farthing racer turns up, and crowds that would once number in the hundreds are reduced to a meagre 35. And yet, spark up a conversation with almost anyone at the velodrome (recently saved from closure after a local campaign) and you will uncover an intimate knowledge of the history of bicycle racing – and some amusing stories, too. There was the 1948 Bates show model salvaged from a dead relative's house and restored to glory, and the 1910 BSA safety bike rescued from France and now ridden to work every day by its owner.

Julian's own 1904 Dursley Pedersen, with its bizarre, pyramid-shaped frame and knitted saddle – made when "there was no history of sitting on a saddle, and people complained of sore bottoms!" – breaks down in one of today's races, after the chain snaps. He is forced to retire, to the groans of onlookers.

Standing by the skeleton of the stadium's once-opulent grandstand is 88-year-old John Watts. He talks of the drama of the 1948 Olympics cycle racing, which was held here. "The most exciting event was the 2,000m tandem sprint, when Reg Harris – he was as famous as Wayne Rooney – and Alan Bannister were beaten by the Italians."

Today's tandem event features just two teams in a nine-lap race that sees the victors – David Eccles and his partner Minoru Mitsumoto, on their hand-built 1949 Higgins – climb the wall of the back straight in the final lap to overtake their rivals, and cross the line to cheers from the spectators.

"You feel that bit of historical magic, and a sense of continuum," says Eccles. "Although we might not be real track riders – we just like to be seen – it's like a concours d'élégance."

The final event sees all the riders – from one on an early 20th-century butcher's bike to another on a grand old 1880 Rover – take to the track. The talk is of a summer of antique cycling events up and down the country.

"Perhaps it's nostalgia mixed with exhibitionism," says David. "Proof that these old machines and the old gits riding them can still do it."
• hernehillvelodrome.com. For events, see: v-cc.org.uk/index.html. Or try the Tweed Run (tweedrun.com) a vintage bike ride through London every April
Oliver Laughland

Roller derby, London

Seen the Drew Barrymore film Whip It? Then you'll be familiar with this American import kick-ass sport for fishnet-wearing, punk-haired, tattooed tough girls. Two teams race each other on rollerskates around an oval track – usually in Earls Court's Brompton Hall, but they're always on the lookout for new venues – and points are scored by the "jammer", the team's attack skater, as she laps members of the opposite team; meanwhile, her defence team try to prevent similar overtaking by their opponents' jammer, and employ all sorts of underhand moves to knock out their opponents. There are many other complicated rules and strategies, but the main thrill is the spectacle and atmosphere of a match … not to mention the cool names of the teams (in the UK there are the Steam Rollers and the Suffra Jets).
• Find forthcoming events (bouts) at londonrollergirls.com; they also hold try-outs – you must be able to skate – or for a £5 fee beginners can take part in recreational sessions
Gemma Bowes

Farmers golf, West Sussex

Apparently we don't have enough sports in the UK, so we're being brought a new one, courtesy of the Dutch. Farmers golf, which involves hitting a large rubber ball into a bucket set into the ground, using a wooden clog attached tothe end of a club, has arrived at Tulleys Farm in West Sussex. The game is played across farmland, around obstacles such as old tractors, straw bales and fences. There are 90 farmers golf courses in the Netherlands, where the sport was invented in 1999, and some 40 more around Europe. The farm's owner, Stuart Beare, who saw what a hit the sport was with people of all ages in the Netherlands, said: "It's a bit like crazy golf but on an agricultural scale. It's fantastic fun and I hope this will be the first of many courses around the UK." We're sure it will be, Stuart…
• Tulleys Farm Maze and Fun Park, Turners Hill, Crawley, 01342 718472, tulleysmaizemaze.co.uk; Farmers or Frisbee golf, £3pp per round, or £10 for a family of four
Gemma Bowes

Tidal-flat cricket, Solent

For a true slice of English eccentricity, what could be more dazzling than the sight of a group of cricketers, dressed in full whites, playing a few overs in the middle of the sea? That's the vision that awaits you at the Brambles Bank Cricket Match, an annual event very much dictated by the sea. Once a year, low tide on a stretch of water between Southampton and the Isle of Wight is so low it reveals a sandbank that local boaters and a loyal band of followers use as a temporary cricket pitch. As players take their positions, a makeshift bar, the Bramble Inn, is erected. After about an hour of fairly frantic cricket, the tide starts coming in and everyone jumps into their boats and retreats as the pitch disappears for another year. This year's match will take place on Wednesday 28 September at 6pm.
• islandpulse.co.uk/b2/brambles-bank-cricket-match
Sally Coffey, lecool.com