I first heard about Puglia when a friend moved there to start a new life with his Italian boyfriend.

He reported back that along the glittering southern Italian coast there were dozens of gorgeous beaches for swimming, with clear waters and hot rocks on which to bask after a dip. The wild, rugged beauty of the region was also, he said, a major draw for the Italian gay population, and there was a great scene out there. He made it sound like the gay equivalent of The Beach - a utopian never-never land, unspoilt and still off the radar of the gay circuit party set who dominate other beach hotspots such as Mykonos, Provincetown, Massachusetts and Fire Island, New York. I booked my flight that day.

Most of the action happens at a hidden beach, Makò, an idyllic spot just outside Gallipoli. It was here I went first. A wooden decked area with a bar was split over different levels, with a jetty running down to the sea. Lying around on sunloungers, the fashion crowd mixed with burly bears. The atmosphere was very relaxed, and I found a quiet spot on some rocks, over which I scrambled to the warm, turquoise sea when I fancied a dip. Unlike some gay beaches where body fascism rules and you feel invisible if you don't fit the honed and toned stereotype, Puglia's scene is much more bohemian with an "everybody welcome" ethos.

Lunch is an institution in these parts, and the best options are in Gallipoli, so I headed most days for lobster and rosé at Marechiaro (Lungo Mare Marconi, 0039 0833 266 143), a seafood restaurant overlooking the sea and surrounded by fishing boats. I had a more rustic experience at La Maruzella (Lido Conchiglie, +0833 208 900), on the coastal road from Gallipoli towards Santa Maria al Bagno. It's a no-frills restaurant on the seafront where the catch of the day included sea urchins and calamari, and locals drank wine out of plastic jugs while occasionally getting splashed by the waves.

Each evening, I retired to Il Giardino Segreto (the Secret Garden) in the baroque centre of Galatina - one of three historic towns slightly inland (Galatone and Nardò are the other two). Once part of a 15th-century monastery, this newly renovated townhouse is great value for a small group (it sleeps up to six). Lemon, orange, clementine and pomegranate trees grow in the courtyard and there's a beautiful roof terrace with views of the monastery bell tower.

Further away from Makò, in Lecce, is another great option, the gorgeously stylish Palazzo Personè, run by Stefano Ramponi, who is full of advice about Puglia's gay scene. Samsara Beach Club, a hip bar on Lido, another stretch of beach south of Gallipoli, was one tip-off.

In between beach visits, eating and sleeping, I explored Lecce's baroque churches and palaces, and its one gay bar, Alter Ego (Via Massaglia 15), where a drag queen holds court and a kooky lesbian spins tunes.

Gallipoli's gay nightlife centres around Caffè Bellini (Corso Roma 9), a cafe/cocktail bar/ice-cream parlour, and the neighbouring bar, Sunrise. It was easy to meet people here, and to find out about various after-parties, usually at a dance club out in the sticks that often involved hitching a lift with a friendly local.

One night we ended up dancing under the stars back at the bar on Makò beach, our shoes full of sand. The spontaneous, find-out-on-the-night culture was refreshingly organic; a nice break from the corporate clubbing of places like Ibiza where superstar DJs and the jet set have pushed up the prices.

Gay travellers who like a package holiday with rainbow flags on every corner and nightly bar crawls through a city's hip gay district may not get Puglia. It's a little rough around the edges and requires effort to uncover its charms. But if you crave a bit of adventure, this is an unspoilt slice of heaven.

• Ryanair (ryanair.com) flies to Brindisi from Stansted. Il Giardino Segreto sleeps six and can be booked directly (giardino.segreto2009@yahoo.com) or through holiday-rentals.co.uk (property 407601) from £70-£140 per night or £439-£1,053 per week. Palazzo Personè (+39 333 37 45 510, palazzopersone.com) has doubles from €135-€180 per night, B&B. For information on Italian gay nightlife, visit salentogayclub.it and gayday.it.

• Richard Bence is travel editor of Attitude magazine.

More laid-back gay hotspots

Mallorca

With its brasher Balearic sister Ibiza grabbing all the attention, Mallorca often gets overlooked, but there's plenty of fun to be had on the small-ish Palma gay scene. Gay-friendly restaurants and tapas bars are centred around Rosamar bar (Avenida Joan Miró 74, rosamarpalma.com) and the Hotel Aries's bar and sauna (Calle Porras 3, h2oteles.com). Coco La Nuit (Calle de San Miguel 79, cocolanuit.com) is a restaurant offering a fabulous drag cabaret soirée. Es Trenc beach, on the south-east of the island, is popular with the wealthy A-gay crowd.

Stay El Hospes Maricel (0034 932 388 314, hospes.es, doubles from €223) was a glam escape in the 50s which has been given a new lease of life by Spain's innovative hotel chain, Hospes. Having won Best Suite in the Wallpaper* 2009 awards, you can bet there'll be a hip crowd parading on the sundeck this summer.

Valencia

The El Carmen barrio is the creative hub of the Spanish city and its gay scene. Most bars are mixed. Venial (Calle Quart 26, venialvalencia.com) is the big gay nightclub, pulling in a young and fashionable crowd at the weekends. The nude/gay communities often colonise hard-to-reach beaches, and Valencia is no exception. Avoid the main city beach and instead pitch up in the lovely dunes of Playa de Pinedo.

Stay The cheap and chic Marina hotel (0034 963 203 010, room-matehotels.com, doubles from €70) in the port has basic rooms but a great location. The roof terrace is a sun trap with a bar and Jacuzzi for sundowners.

Malta

The sleepy island has had a shake up and is starting to attract the gay market. Tom Bar in Floriana (1 Crucifix Hill, tombarmalta.webs.com) is the drinking hole and cabaret venue of choice for local lads, while Klozet (Ball Street, klozetclub.com) in the capital, Valletta, is the island's main gay nightclub. Lady Gaga is performing as part of the Malta Music Week festival (3-8 July 2009, g7events.com).

Stay Fortina Spa Resort (0800 917 3001, fortinasparesort.com, €233pp pn) where the luxury option is one of the all-inclusive spa rooms, complete with a steam room in the bathroom and hot tub or private pool on the roof. The queen of clubland Jodie Harsh recently took a break here.