Silly season started early with this morning's arrival of Property 85801 on the books of holidaylettings.co.uk, one of the UK's largest holiday property websites. The catered townhouse, owned by "discreet" couple Lizzie and Phil, is a "gated property with armed guards ... near a lovely local square called Trafalgar Square." 26 March, it seems, is the new 1 April.

Fitted with adequate sized banquet halls and a "useful balcony to wave from," this wonderful holiday opportunity comes with secure parking, or, for those travelling by public transport, lies within walking distance of Victoria (who was also a famous relative of the owner).

Yup, perfect for a summer staycation, Buckingham Palace could be yours from £10,000,000 per night. The listing fails to mention whether a single supplement applies for solo travellers.

Holidaylettings simultaneously launched three other enticing properties. Those with a restless brood might consider the rural retreat that has been stylishly decorated with children in mind, and comes with "spectacular views over sugar-top mountain." Alternatively, couples looking for a romantic getaway might prefer a charming rustic hut that "offers a truly magical back-to-nature experience."

But our top tip is the fabulously on trend, back-to-basics "18th-century boot with modern shoe interior," if not only for the "possible" views from the first floor window.