My first piece of advice to anyone heading to Finnish Lapland is to take as many photographs of the jaw-droppingly beautiful scenery as possible. These will serve as an important record, because the chances are that you will either be going too fast or having too much fun to appreciate the landscape while you are there. In fact, there are so many opportunities for wintry high jinks in this part of the Arctic Circle that even people like me, who virtually hibernate in cold weather, will find themselves dashing out into the minus 14-degree, pitch-black mornings shouting, looking for adventure.
Skiing and snowboarding are the staples of any winter wonderland's activity programme and both Ylläs Fell and Levi are well-equipped resorts catering for all levels. There were slopes gentle enough for me to fine-tune my snow plough and off-piste conditions challenging enough for the accomplished skiers to return with their eyes shin ing. At Levi, parents seemed particularly impressed by the encouraging family environment; four-year-olds grappling with button lifts are tolerated with much more grace than in some of the more crowded European resorts.
However, if skiing leaves you cold, you can embrace a contemporary Finnish passion by becoming a petrolhead. Motor sports are huge here, where you are expected to know your Mäkinen from your Häkkinen and Räikkönen. Heading down to Perhesafarit for a mini snowmobile safari you will find similar unbridled enthusiasm. Sadly, the snowmobiling kit is far from glamorous but the exhilaration of tearing across the frozen wastes at high speed more than compensates for the sartorial indignity of a balaclava and extra-padded romper suit. By the time our group parked for lunch at the cosy Luvattumaa(Promised Land) we were jabbering on about engine sizes like apprentice Jeremy Clarksons.
Equally exhilarating but far less environmentally damaging is the traditional Lappish method of becoming a boy racer: animal power. At Wingrens Farm, near Levi, huskies strain at the leash as they wait for you to take your foot off the sled brake. One person has the responsibility of driving while the other gets to nestle under a large blanket and feel the speed. Back at the dog pens there were enough husky puppies to keep everyone cooing for a good half hour and we met our first celebrity pet of the day, the farm's St Bernard - famed across Finland for rescuing a three-year-old girl.
The second animal star was the imaginatively named Santa the reindeer, who starred in Santa Claus: The Movie and now lives on Urpo's reindeer farm, just outside Levi. Too A-list to work, Santa watched from his paddock as we clambered into sleds beneath more furry blankets which looked suspiciously like reindeer skins and Santa's colleagues lumbered off at a slow trot. After snowmobiling and husky sledding, the efforts of the reindeer can seem disappointingly pedestrian until they suddenly shift up 10 gears and charge at full speed, knocking rival sleds asunder. Never underestimate the power of a reindeer, which must surely be a Lappish proverb.
The downside of my new respect for Rudolph et al was that it made the 'authentic' Lappish banquets - consisting largely of reindeer stewed, braised or in sausages - rather less palatable. Fortunately, at Taivaanvalkeat we experienced a wider interpretation of the local cuisine that also included delicious fish and soups. This stunning country house, owned by Päivikki Palosaari, a sort of Finnish Martha Stewart, is magical. During the Christmas season the house hosts an elves' workshop, while small groups can book in for saunas and meals throughout the winter. Taivaanvalkeat translates as Northern Lights and I am pleased to report that it did not disappoint. The aurora borealis dutifully appeared in a lime-green neon swirl across the sky.
Almost as magical were the Polar Star chalets near Ylläs, home for the next two nights. On the edge of a forest, these roomy log cabins get the balance just right between the functional (heated cupboard by the front door to dry out your ski kit) and the aesthetically pleasing (you can imagine a Wallpaper* shoot taking place in the kitchen).
By contrast, Levi's Hotel Levitunturi occupies an uneasy territory between Center Parcs and a student halls of residence, but you will never be short of entertainment. The complex boasts a fully fledged leisure centre in case you get tired of skiing and Skidooing and a large bar hosting the Wednesday-night Levi dinner dance. However, if you prefer your nights out with less Val Doonican knitwear and formal dancing, you can always check out Levi's super club, the Crazy Reindeer Arena, or one of the many karaoke bars.
The morning after is the perfect time to test the toxin-releasing efficacy of a Finnish sauna. Trying the real thing makes you real ise how much has obviously been lost in translation. Chalets with log fires in the changing rooms bear little resemblance to the stuffy garden sheds which pass for saunas in most British health clubs. For the uninitiated, it can seem hotter than hell, but once you adopt the local custom of sitting with your feet in a bucket of cold water it all becomes tolerable. Finally, the pièce de résistance is to down your beer, walk outside and jump into an ice hole. If your pores and head are not clear after that performance, frankly you are a lost cause.
It was not until the end, at Kittila airport, that I got around to reading my information pack and discovered I had been on an 'activity holiday'. Suddenly everything made sense. In five days I had traversed the Finnish fells in every adrenalin-fuelled manner possible; endured inferno-like saunas followed by ice plunges; travelled up an 800-metre precipice in a snow taxi and joined snowshoed sorties deep into the forest. No wonder I felt a sense of achievement.
But that is the thing about Lapland - you get to return home feeling like a snow-capped Indiana Jones and you can amaze your friends for days by not needing a coat.
Factfile
Inghams (020 8780 4433) offers hotel and chalet accommodation (catered and self-catered) in Levi and Ylläs. Prices start from £287 for seven nights' self-catering at the Akas log cabin in Ylläs (sleeps three to six) and £464 for seven nights at Levintunturi hotel, half board, in Levi. Prices include return flights from Gatwick and transfers to the resorts. The Chalet Polar Star sleeps 12 on chalet board with afternoon tea. Prices start from £414. Direct flights from Manchester or Birmingham are available at a supplement.
Taivaanvalkeat, part of the Crazy Reindeer group, takes advance bookings for accommodation and meals and a Finnish sauna experience for small groups (www.hulluporo.fi).
Winter clothing items loaned by Snow+Rock ski and outdoor clothing and equipment specialists.
