If hell is other people then an eight-day tour of Morocco with 16 strangers in a small minibus ought to rank somewhere between being boiled in hot tar and pelted with arrows of fire. It ought to. But it doesn't. It's actually quite good fun.
I didn't really mean to go on a group holiday but, having left it to the last minute to book and with little time to research our options, my friend and I decided the only way we were going to get to see Morocco was to sign up for an organised tour. So we booked an eight-day whistle-stop visit with Exodus Travel taking in the Sahara desert, the High Atlas mountains, Marrakesh and Essaouira on the Atlantic coast.
Reading the brochure after we had booked the trip (possibly not the best way of going about things) it dawned on us that this holiday would entail a considerable amount of time wedged into a minibus. As we rolled through the arid landscapes in our air-conditioned bubble, it quickly became apparent that Morocco would play no more than a supporting role in our adventure, its scenery merely a backdrop for the mini dramas, romances, anecdotes and power struggles contained in our little goldfish bowl on wheels.
I should say at this point that the individuals who made up our merry band were the most well balanced, intelligent and friendly bunch of people you could hope to meet and an organised tour is the best way of seeing a lot in a short space of time with the minimum of hassle. But for anyone contemplating taking the plunge on a group holiday, here are a few survival tips it may help to know:
1 According to some ancient and unwritten law of coach travel, whichever seat you sit in on the first day you will be stuck with for the rest of the week, so make sure it's a good one. Do not try to shake things up by sitting in a different seat each day. If you do, nobody will say any thing but you will be made to feel that somehow, subtly, you have disrupted the natural order of things.
2 The sooner you give up any notion that you are an adventurous and independent traveller the more you will enjoy the trip. Trying to pretend you are not with the group when you meet 'real travellers' or trying to lose the guide in the souk is not recommended. It just makes it all the more embarrassing when the tour leader has to come and find you because the bus is about to leave.
3 The bus waits for no one and the tour leader is always right.
4 Allow time for decompression at the end of every day. This can take the form of retiring to your room with a good book or playing Big Brother Bus with a like-minded fellow traveller (preferably not within earshot of the rest of the group).
5 And finally if you've ignored all of the above and everyone hates you, a bus-sized pack of boiled sweets or a well-timed Wet One can do wonders for your popularity.