A German friend of mine told me that Swabians are as different from the rest of Germany as Geordies are from England. They may not have the football team or the fog on the Tyne, but they speak a distinctive dialect - Schwabisch - which thickens and elongates standard German and which, more than anything else, gives the Swabians their sense of identity.
The small group of ancient duchies which cluster around Germany's south-west corner are officially known as Baden-Württemberg. They combine to make an attractive and affluent federal state, home to the Black Forest, the foothills of the Alps and the mighty Lake Constance. But as far as the locals are concerned, their green and hilly land, snuggled next to Switzerland and France, will be forever Swabia.
Stuttgart, Swabia's spiritual home, is surrounded by one on the biggest wine regions in Germany. Nevertheless, first appearances reveal a clinically clean and robustly industrial city: over three-quarters of Stuttgart was rubble in 1945, and the rump is now a low-rise sprawl dedicated to all that is glass and concrete.
But it's not all like that. Many of Stuttgart's most treasured buildings, such as the old royal palace, have been restored so obsessively that they actually look too new to be true. In addition, Stuttgart is officially one of the greenest cities in Europe, with over six miles of unbroken parkland spiralling out from the city's centre. And ask yourself this: what other major European city has a working vineyard right next door to its main railway station?
What to see
Art
Just over half a million people live in Stuttgart, roughly the same number as in Nottingham or Stoke. Yet the city caters for art lovers with a collection of public galleries which would put many UK cities to shame, not to mention one of the finest collections of early modern art in the world, a Bundesliga ballet company and a surfeit of public sculpture. You can't pop out for a packet of fags without finding yourself face to face with an expensive-looking stainless steel edifice.
The city is home to the Staatsgalerie, built by Glasgow's James Stirling in 1984. It was considered a landmark in the development of post-modern architecture, but 20 years on its exterior is beginning to show signs of wear. There's the inevitable graffiti to contend with, and several of the flagstones are broken. You can't help thinking that the whole thing could do with a lick of paint.
Inside it is a different story. The weathered exterior of the Staatsgalerie gives way to an immaculate post-modern Elysium. A lime green ramp takes you up to several acres of airy galleries, spotless, well-lit and packed full of Picassos and Beckmans and Giacomettis. From the outside, Stirling's building dominates the older Staatsgalerie next door, but inside you move seamlessly from one to the other. The effect is jolting. You leap out of the 20th century straight into the early middle ages, exchanging large, bright Klee canvasses for rooms full of stunning triptychs all depicting the crucifixion in differing degrees of agony.
It can appear at first glance that Stuttgart expresses its affluence by buying in its culture, but a closer look reveals the city's own lively artists' area. Venture into the Bohenviertel - originally the labourers' quarter - and you will find candlelit cafes hiding back rooms hosting performances. A typical night might involved renditions of Tom Waites songs followed by readings of Burkowski in German.
Markthalle
Whatever you do in Stuttgart, don' t miss the beautiful market hall. Built in 1914, it anticipated the imminent Bauhaus obsession with graceful functionality - although the guidebooks all list it as art nouveau. Stalls from Greece, Iran, Turkey, Pakistan and Italy compete with local traders to sell an amazing array of exotic fruit and vegetables, fine wine and cooking oil. Upstairs there is a gallery which acts as an upmarket kitchen shop and a lovely cafe with tables overlooking the multicoloured roofs of the stalls.
Surprisingly, there are no shouts to be heard from the costermongers below, only a busy bustle of trade muffled to melody by the sheer height of the chamber - and Swabian good manners, of course.
Motors
Beyond the parkland is the industrial quarter - a seemingly incongruous blend of factories, vineyards and FC Stuttgart's elegant football stadium. The industrial quarter does have its attractions: Stuttgart is the home of Mercedes-Benz and Porsche, and both still have large factory complexes here. The massive Mercedes-Benz complex hosts an impressive museum dedicated to the development of the internal combustion engine, with some very swanky motors indeed. One favourite is the Papawagen, a Popemobile fitted with a single throne for the pontiff instead of a proper back seat. But the star of the show is by the entrance: the 1885 Daimler Reitwagen, a clunky precursor to the motorbike with a heavy wooden frame, two iron stabilisers and a horse's saddle. With it's the accompanying flywheel and a pair of thin iron handlebars, it looks so strange you could almost imagine yourself back among the Picassos at the Staatgalerie.
Ulm
The Swabian Alps and the Black Forest are both enormous tourist draws. Visitors tend to head for Frieburg, Heidelberg or the affluent spa town of Baden-Baden - some of Germany's most well-trodden and pricey tourist destinations - but a visit to Swabia doesn't have to be like that. Ulm, 50km west of Stuttgart, offers an excellent alternative. It is a handsome, friendly city with heaps of history and a lively nightlife, and it can be reached easily by train from Stuttgart via a ride through the beautiful Swabian Alps.
Head for the old tanners' quarter. Here you will find a squeeze of narrow cobbled streets overhung with the gables of shuttered, wood-panelled houses, stooped and warped with age. The area is home to a collection of galleries, antique shops and an eccentric goldsmith. A stone bridge crosses a tributary of the Danube and a working water mill powers a pub selling traditional Swabian delicacies. A typical dish features wild boar with sauerkraut accompanied by local white beer which comes in porcelain tankards. The dumplings are a special treat - as light and fluffy as Hovis - and don't be surprised to find a marinated pear on your dinner plate.
Famous as the birthplace of Albert Einstein, Ulm is actually two cities bisected by the river Danube. All the guidebooks will tell you to avoid Neu Ulm, "a rather, bland, ugly and modern city," according to the Lonely Planet. Don't believe it. While Neu Ulm might share Stuttgart's modern look, it's undeniably home to the best bars. The Bar D'art hosts the best live music, and in Stitz and Sonderbar, Neu Ulm has two cracking cocktail bars.
Many people come here to gawp at the highest church steeple in the world. The Munster at Ulm could have been - should have been - the tallest building in Europe, but it took 500 years to complete and Monsieur Eiffel ended up beating them to it. It is still a very impressive building: its steeple soars 151m in the air (taller than the BT Tower) and it is supported by a rack of buttresses which squat beneath and resemble the ribcage of a giant whale encrusted with intricate layers of dark coral.
As in many German cities, there is enough new development in Ulm to terrorise most UK urban planners. Take the way that the city council erected Richard Meier's new Stadthaus right opposite the Munster. With its stark, white walls and sweeping curves it looks like it has been ripped out of Miami and dropped in the heart of a medieval city. Can you imagine anything like that being attempted opposite Salisbury or Durham Cathedral?
You may find Swabians slightly reserved at first. They are clearly proud of their unique culture, but they won't shout about it. Especially among the young, the idea of Swabia is a little old fashioned. But even if some of them no longer hold it so dearly in their hearts, the sound of their culture is certainly still in their mouths.
Ways to go
Lufthansa fly direct to Stuttgart from Heathrow three times a day. Prices start at £122 return (including taxes). There is also one flight a day from Manchester, with prices starting at £181.10 (including taxes).
