Reading through our hotel special, it's clear that small English hotels don't have to all be Fawlty Towers. In fact English hotels are light years ahead of that unforgettable twentieth-century TV show, which must be doing more damage to our image abroad than pictures of burning carcasses during the foot and mouth epidemic. Nowadays you don't seem to be able to move for cheddar soufflé and vodka roast tomato soups, white fluffy bathrobes, heated towel rails and whirlpool baths. English hotels don't come cheap, but overall our team was impressed with the service and quality.
However, I wasn't surprised to hear about our writers' small disappointments, the main one being background music at dinner. Caroline Boucher visiting Langdale Chase House, Windermere, talks of 'rather intrusive piped music (film themes was one),' while Louise France says: 'The one discordant note was the ice dancing music piped through speakers [at Matfen Hall, near Newcastle upon Tyne]'. English hotels are by no means the biggest offenders. Continental European and Caribbean hotels can be much worse. When I checked into Newport Bay Hotel at Disneyland Paris earlier this month, the room was filled with loud Disney theme tunes, which, once I'd located the remote control, were zapped off.
Music to greet you, belting from some in-house music channel via the TV, seems to be a trend in hotels all over the place (along with air-conditioning on full blast to make you feel like you're entering a deep freeze). On an inspection of an all-inclusive Sandals resort in Antigua I was appalled by the constant barrage of music blaring from small speakers hidden beneath shrubs, plants and trees, and at the Grand Lido Negril in Jamaica there was no escaping the music - usually live pop cover versions next to the buffet.
Surely one of the main points of running off to a good hotel is to nurture your relationship? When you're stuck under a speaker with Tom Jones crooning full blast, how can you think, let alone enjoy the food or conversation? Background music is a conversation crippler and passion killer.
When I stayed at Foxhills hotel in Surrey there was no escaping the classical trumpet music at breakfast. Despite being the only customers in the restaurant the staff only turned it down after several requests.
If, like me, background music gets you down why not join Pipedown (07971 518976) 'the campaign for freedom from piped music'. It recommends that you travel with Pipedown cards protesting about the music to give to the manager
And by the way, an NOP survey in November 1998 showed that 34 per cent of people disliked piped music, only 30 per cent liked it and 36 per cent were indifferent. So, pleeeeeease. Turn it offfffff! Now!
· PS Since sending our writers to review the nine shortlisted hotels, a panel of tourism experts has whittled the final shortlist down to three. These are Castle House, Hereford; Matfen Hall Hotel, Matfen, Newcastle upon Tyne; and Percy's Country Hotel and Restaurant, Virginstow, Devon. Results will be announced on 23 April at the Royal Opera House in London. See www.englishtourism.org.uk.
