A weekend at Matfen Hall is an opportunity to make-believe you are Kristin Scott Thomas in Robert Altman's upper-class whodunit Gosford Park. The day job might not provide diamonds or doormen but for one weekend I could pretend the other car was a Bentley.
What's clever is that despite the fact that the hall has been in the aristocratic Blackett family since 1860, it's posh but not pretentious. The bathroom might have been big enough to perform cartwheels in, but I didn't feel I'd be blackballed if I did.
Even though it is an impressive building, there are only 31 rooms which means there's an intimate atmosphere. You can lounge around in your bedroom (ours had huge windows overlooking the 18-hole golf course), peep into the panelled Great Hall or sink into sofas in the drawing room. I could have done with a little less wallpaper and fewer curtain swags - but I guess that's all part of the period-drama look.
There are plans to add a leisure centre, with a pool and spa rooms, plus 24 extra bedrooms. Judging by the work done so far - five years ago Matfen Hall was a care home riddled with dry rot - the additions are unlikely to spoil the atmosphere.
The idea of strolling from room to room wafting a cigarette holder and pretending to own the place was attractive, but we did manage to venture out into the wilds of Northumberland. Straight Roman roads took us inland to Hadrian's Wall (there's a brilliantly windy walk to be done from the Roman fort at Housesteads). Alternatively head up the coast to Craster where there's a magical stroll past the ruins of Dunstanburgh Castle and over to the sand dunes beyond. If it's springtime, swing by the new Alnwick gardens on the way.
Back at the hotel, dinner's served at candle-lit tables in the panelled library. A main course - typically monkfish wrapped in parma ham or lamb shanks with mash - costs around £14. Starters - my roasted sea scallops were delicious - were £6.
The wine list included a decent house white. The one discordant note was the ice-dancing music piped through speakers. It would have been more fun to eavesdrop on the other diner's conversations - they might have been plotting an upper-class murder mystery.
· Matfen Hall, Matfen, Newcastle upon Tyne (01661 886500) £130 to £225 including full English breakfast (or £225 including dinner).
