First impressions? Dazzled by AA accolades (five stars, three rosettes, Hotel of the Year England 2002) we ventured forth to the Surrey commuter belt to discover that this is matching Rolexes and helipad territory. An attractive, modest 17-bedroom 1849 manor house has been turned (Heritage-style) into 123 rooms with 120 acres of leisure and sporting parkland. We were greeted as if we were Blind Date contestants, the room key was placed in a red despatch box and we were escorted to our quarters by an impossibly eager young man.

So who's it catering for? Mainly rich sporty types, corporate brainstorming/bonding sessions, Hello! photoshoots and private celebrations. Central London is 27 miles away, Heathrow 15. Currently it is the pre-match base and training ground for the England rugby squad when at Twickers...high jinks reportedly moved a lifesize solid bronze horse halfway up the staircase one night.

Did you feel overwhelmed? Our junior suite, Carisbrooke, was spacious, in shades of red overstated luxury. The bed was partially surrounded by two padded walls (is this if you get too energetic and bounce off?) There were three televisions, heated underfloor tiling, and a 'rain bars' shower (jets from three directions). Switching on the Jacuzzi, I drowned both myself and the bathroom floor. The fruit basket heaved; the champagne was on ice.

So, after you mopped the floor, how was the restaurant? We had the gourmet experience in the oak-panelled three rosette (aiming for four and then a visit from Michelin) Latymer; the St James is the rather barnlike alternative. It was futuristic architecture on a plate (vertical food being the current fashion) and the French-influenced tastes were equally impressive. The staff were efficient and informal, the lighting low and relaxed, but this came at a price: the set menu is £50 with the cheapest bottle around £23.

Anything appalling? Twee 'do not disturb' signs (sleeping teddy in a pouch) and room names. The Twickenham Suite, at £750 a night has a 400-gallon whirlpool bath, which will hold an entire rugby team (ugh). A confessional box in the foyer doubles as a telephone kiosk.

How much is it? There are rooms, suites and apartments from £165 to £750 (breakfast costs £15). Special packages are available.

· Pennyhill Park Hotel and Country Club, London Road, Bagshot, Surrey GU19 5EU (01276 471774).